Realizing that I, not my money, bills, employer, country or situation, am in charge of my employment is like discovering a new power.
It's easy to feel like a victim of circumstance. Sure, the economy basically imploded and I got laid off from my first job after college. As a newlywed and the major source of family income, I felt obliged to take the first job offered to me - because, hell, how many people are unemployed for only a week? Everyone urged me to accept. I listened to them against my personal objections and got stuck in a job that a child could perform. I was forced to accept and remain in this job because my family needed the money. I had no choice, right?
That's what I thought until this week. Every day I make the choice to stay here and continue along unchallenged, stunted, bored. The longer I'm underestimated, the worse it is for my soul, and the longer I stay in a job unrelated to my skills and interests, the worse it is for my career. It is not more impressive to stay with one company in a low level job than to show that I tried to find my true vocation.
I may not know what that vocation is (honestly, I'm completely clueless at this point), but as I continue to look, I'm convinced that I will get closer and be able to hear the call. It may be faint now, but it's not getting any louder if I plant my feet and plug in my earbuds and listen to The Beatles. (But, my god, "I Me Mine" is amazing, isn't it?)
If I ever want an enjoyable career, and if I want to be proud of myself right now, I need to change my attitude, work hard, scour my resources for opportunities, and finally use my power to be in control of my career and my contentedness. I can't let my fear of poverty snuff my desire to live and work well.
Stuck in a job you don't like? Screw your courage to the sticking place:
Seth's Blog "Take What You Can Get (?)
Salon "Working Too Hard"
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
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